Celebrity heiress Paris Hilton is backing an online petition seeking a pardon of her 45-day prison sentence because she enlivens “mundane” lives.

Everyone enlivens the lives of everyone around them, Paris no more or no less than anyone else.

Hilton was sentenced after being found guilty of violating her probation for a drink-driving conviction.

Ms Hilton told the judge she was very sorry and that she would “pay complete attention to everything” from now on.

Oh NOW you’re going to pay attention to what the court tells you? Fuck off to jail already.

Quotes from BBC News online here and here.

You are driving your friends to a restaurant. You have a small 3-door car. You’re running late or something. One of the guys in the back volunteers to jump out and run into the restaurant to tell them everyone else will be along in a minute.

Do you:

a) Just stop in the middle of the road while the front passenger extracts themselves from the car followed by the rear passenger (who runs to the restaurant), then wait while the front passenger waves ineffectually at the growing queue of traffic behind you instead of e.g. more promptly jumping back in the car allowing you to pull off

or,

b) do what everyone with an IQ does and pull up out of the way?

Read on to find out how you did!

A: You are the stupid twat who stopped in front of me in South Street to let someone get to the Real India* restaurant

B: You are a normal person.

(* An excellent choice of restaurant at least, but not enough to redeem you.)